Moment
by Femmeferal
Summary: "I couldn't stay away." "From the show, or her?" This is the way the world ends, not with a bang, but with a whimper. Set right after the New York episode.


This story, like so many others, begins with a moment. Upon examination of this it will seem fleeting, petty. Simple in design and consequence. Though transitory, it is grand. Not by words spoken or actions taken, but by the emotions awakened through the consequences of words.

Jesse . A boy no older than eighteen, sits beside you. Wearing a suit and a smirk that could conquer the world, he is the epitome of the old adage 'Children are the future'. He looked happy, alight as his eyes fixated on the stage. You followed his actions, letting your eyes travel from his unexpected presence, back to your stars. They were doing it. Here in New York they were excelling and you had never been more proud of them than you are in this moment. Your attention is slightly divided as Jesse speaks. A simple statement. Probably meant to be conversational or friendly.

"I couldn't stay away."

"From the show? Or her…?"

You don't know what makes you say it. As much of a family as you had become, you had tried to remain the adult and stay out of the love lives of your students. The comment was something you would say in the comfort of a familiar place in the company of a friend or an equal. Jesse, though highly mature for his age in some ways, was neither of those things.

The words still taste strange on your tongue. You hadn't asked it as a real question, more trying to make Jessie think about what he was missing. But how much more did you know about the girl you were referring to than he did? Surely Jessie, who had been romantically involved with Rachel, had an insight that you did not. Why were you the one to preach to him about what he had lost, and how would you know to begin with? Though you had reassured her once that she was a very special girl, you had meant it the way a father talks to a daughter. A daughter is always special whether she was as arrogant as Rachel or as ignorant as Brittany. But a love interest was special on an entirely different playing field. You have no knowledge of Rachel in this dimmer light.

Your eyes are still on the stage, watching without really seeing or paying any attention. The choreography was haphazardly thrown together. You think the song makes up for it. But more than thinking about the movements of the two together, you are watching her. Trying to decide in your mind why Rachel has such a draw… such a special girl…and the most terrifying realization hits you.

You already know exactly why.

It was in the way she wanted. The way she lit your soul on fire with her voice. The way she always cared so much, even if she couldn't show it. In the way she cried over having to leave Glee and the way dramatic poses like a hand resting on her mouth looked genuine. They were genuine to her. So full of life and spirit and disregard for the way social norms dictated she should act. She was one of a kind, and it is in this moment you realize that star quality exists, and Rachel had it. It was inevitable what she would become. Even her beauty which others found nonexistent, was soft and ethereal. Her full pink lips, her large brown eyes…long lashes brushing against pale cheeks…

The kiss brings you out of your trance. You hadn't even realized how close the two were before this moment. Jessie speaks to you once again and you answer his question with shock.

But not shock at the kiss.

A simple answer and nothing more. The Glee club leaves the stage and another takes its place and the show goes on.

You try to comfort yourself when the realization of what you had been thinking hits you. Of course you would fall for someone like Rachel. Bright young people with dreams, beauty, and mimicking things you always wanted to have in your life. Things you still loved and admired and looked for in people your own age. Yes you are certain that these things developed when children spent 75 percent of their lives in a classroom. But you are also certain that these things are never pursued. People whether teacher or student, were still people. Still looking for the end of their line. Someone they were drawn too. These things developed.

But they didn't happen.

She would love Jesse, or Finn. Or more likely some man she hadn't met yet who would show her that life had more magic in it than just a high F could show her.

And that one moment of Jessie speaking to you.

That's how it started.

Life as you knew it ended the moment that rhetorical question left your lips.

You know that now.

This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang. But with a whimper.


End file.
